October 15 is officially "Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day". The purpose of this day is for those who have "suffered a miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy, a still birth, or the loss of an infant".
Remembering back on my own miscarriage brings feelings of despair, sadness, and loneliness. We lost our baby in August of 2007. Since that day I have learned of so many others who have suffered through similar experiences. I think of our first baby often when I tell Beckett that he "is the best baby in the world" or that he "is the most beautiful baby in the world". I feel a tinge of guilt thinking that I once had another baby, one that is not here with me. The feelings I felt a few years ago can easily be dusted off and resurface. They are still real. However, those feelings are not the center of my life anymore, and I have been blessed with great happiness since that time. I have had to learn that my plan isn't the right plan for me. There is another plan, Heavenly Father's plan, that will bring me the joy this life has to offer.
One of my good friends sent me this quote and I will never forget it:
"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude." Elder Wirthlin
I know the Lord has blessed me through our loss in many unexpected ways. I'm so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ.
